Dear Mr. Diary… Emily "Confused" May!

I haven’t talked to Jason. I don’t want to…

He has a girlfriend and he’s my boss, so forget it.
And yesterday… so wrong. I liked the food and the vibe, impressive and expensive restaurant. 
I wasn’t listen to him at some point because I was looking at a chandelier in the middle of the room, yes you could touch it… and I’m a small person!
I always thought I would have a date in a place like that, not with Jason… He texted me after the, you know… But I’m hurt…
Wait my phone is buzzing…
Ok, now Matt, he wants to have dinner tonight.
Now this  one too.
I wish I could go back to my older life, when I was free of guys like Jason and Matt. Maybe it’s because they’re rich and they live in a different world. You know what I mean!
I don’t have money to go to a restaurant like that, eat food like that, but for me, that’s not important.
Really, I want to find a man, who loves me for who I was, who I am now and who I want to be! More important than that? Don’t know, but I have to give him back too, and love him for who he was, who he is and wants to be.
We all need someone we can trust, but we all have a past, a present and a future.
Yes I’m having this conversation, I know it’s the same old, but I’m trying not to think about Matt.
I just want to forget last night, I work with the guy… I’m going to quit my job! I can’t face him, or his girlfriend…
And Matt? I have to think about it… 
Bye for now… 
Love,
Emily “Confused” May
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