Do you miss you?? Like the essence of you??
Let me explain: I don’t want to talk about others anymore, at least for today!
I really want to see me and hear me and just… wonder what if wasn’t here today?
What if I stayed home? Would I be married by now? Would I feel… lost?
The events that happen, the people I met, what do you think?
Do you think they changed me? My essence? My me?
Is this stupid to ask or feel?
I’m alone today, and I like it… I sure wasn’t like this but now it’s kind of peaceful or maybe I’ getting used to come home, being alone, write and relax… looking at the stars not turning on the computer…
I wonder if someone out there feels the way I feel. Don’t get me wrong I love me but what if?
What if I wasn’t here, I didn’t meet all these people, that came into my life? What if I lived across town and never found this job?
Would it be ok?
Or do I know that I have changed and really want to go backwards and choose another way, another path?
I guess we all think about what we could have done different, but we choose a path and then… I don’t regret it but I wonder what if I could turn back time and made another different choice? Would I be happier?
Most important: would I become me or turn into another me, and maybe a different me that I would like too????
Sorry it’s confusing for a diary but… I miss me!
Emily ‘lost’ May