Dear Mr. Diary… Magic words!

No, it wasn’t the fact that Jason is always, “please this”, “please that”!No, it isn’t the fact, that Evan is also soooo polite, because he has this snake eyes. They scare me, I thought he was so different, now I know how Susie got lost. I think he’s so fake, fake smile, fake eyes, fake politeness, fake everything!
No, it isn’t the fact that Heather and Courtney, the aggressive ones on this group, are less unpleasant towards me, they’re friendly!

No… You won’t guess!
The magic words came from the one and only Matt…
Yes he called, but I was working, so he left a message on my voicemail! I’m not going to erase it ever!!!!!

Yes, you’re right I sound just like a teenager in love. I feel that way!
Why is age a problem, Mr. Diary?

I think that everybody that is in love should and must feel this way, like a teen, finding out love for first time!

The thing is that I don’t know if I’m in love with Matt, but I have strong feelings about him.
I have this crazy thing like I’m always looking at my phone just hopping to talk to him, but at the same time I won’t take the first step, because I was the last one to tell something.

I have my pride!
And really I have all this questions, the last thing on my mind is a boyfriend! But secretly I like when he calls, I like to hear his voice, I like to read his texts even when he just writes “Hope you’re fine!”…

And what do I do? Easy, I just pretend that I’m busy and just say something a day later… I know but I don’t want to give him hope, or give me hope!
This is me protecting me. Getting hurt again it’s not on my plans, sweet notebook with blank pages!
And so for me the magic words were (that I’ll keep forever on my voicemail, if I can – maybe I’ll make a copy!!): “I miss you…”.

He misses me! I miss him to… Well talk to him, be with him…
That kind of stuff!

I have to call him. What do you think? Tomorrow??

Emily May


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